讀過就會發(fā)現,Etsuko基本上沒有講過自己的故事。她的所有回憶都是在第一次在日本懷孕期間跟Sachiko以及她的女兒的故事。故事越往后,我們就會越發(fā)現Etsuko和Sachiko命運的相似:都有和第一任丈夫生下的女兒,女兒都被認為行為古怪,第二任丈夫都是西方人,最后都帶著第一個女兒去了別的國家。對Sachiko的回憶都是在夢里,不能說不真實,可能是Etsuko只是找了Sachiko和她相似的地方來回憶。回憶里,Sachiko總是對自己的女兒疏于管理,也常常傷害女兒的感情。但是Etsuko總是那個溫婉和善的形象,周到又得體?!皔ou will make a wonderful mother, Etsuko.”,回憶里的開拉面館的老婦人說。
可是這一切,是不是Etsuko的贖罪呢?我們沒有辦法得知她以前究竟是一個怎樣的人,是真的像回憶中的自己那么賢淑,還是跟Sachiko一樣。唯一可以確定的,便是小說的最后,當Sachiko要帶Mariko去美國的時候Mariko的掙扎。 Etsuko在樹林里找到了Mariko,對Mariko說了一些不符合自己先前溫婉態(tài)度的話(“You r not to speak like that” I said, angrily.)。at this point, Etsuko和Sachiko的影子,Mariko和Keiko的影子,終于重疊了。
另外,
我覺得日本的民族性真的很強。一開始在讀這本書的時候,我以為Kazuo是長大后移民英國的。后來一查,發(fā)現他很小就在英國,是basically在那里長大的。 書里也有很多地方有著家鄉(xiāng)日本遙遠的回聲。 比如Etsuko的獨白里她說,something like: 我的丈夫研究了一輩子的日本,但是he never understands Japanese even for a moment. 總之,Kazuo的寫作拿捏的很好,但我們永遠不能把這篇作品,看做是一個英國人對日本的理解。
Sachiko, an arrogant, unloving and selfish woman. Etsuko, a considerate, warm-hearted and helpful. Somehow, the writer created a strange relation between them, it is intricate and complicated.
The atmosphere of this novel is sad, creepy and confusing. That’s why it’s so difficult for me to write something about it, especially using Freud’s theory.
I found Sachiko very annoying while reading the novel, and I am sure that’s how Etsuko feels about it, too. Or Sachiko would never be created. Projection. I think the existence of Sachiko is a projection from Etsuko. Just like every traditional Japanese woman, Etsuko couldn’t quit herself of the shackle of the moral anxiety. However, she couldn’t repress some of her evil thoughts. That’s why Sachiko appeared and became a center of that period of Etsuko’s life.
Sachiko always shrugs and laughs away everything, I think that’s isolation. Etsuko, as a warm-hearted woman, she has to care about everything related or not related. She is so sick and tired of it, that’s why Sachiko can always be so indifferent.
But when it comes to leaving Japan for America, Sachiko keeps asking Etsuko to feel free to ask her anything about it. Why is that? We have to look at Etsuko for the answer again. When Etsuko is planning to leave Japan for England, she must be extremely anxious about her future. She told herself to be calm and not to be worry about it. Guess what? She needs someone to talk to. Again, Sachiko wants to talk about her leaving so badly, but Etsuko, being her superego, thinks she should not show her worries about that.
I was considering Etsuko a normal person until I read that the noodle shop lady keeps telling her not to be upset or unhappy about her life. The first time that Etsuko was told not to be unhappy, I simply think it’s the noodle shop lady got her wrong. But as that repeated, I started feeling there is something weird about it, and later, Etsuko finally admitted while talking to Sachiko, I knew she is not as normal as I thought. I also think she might be in denial.
When I read the last chapter, my skin crawled. Etsuko is telling Nikki about that happy afternoon she was spending with Keiko, but that experience is with Mariko! As Freud said, no words are accident, I strongly believe that Sachiko and Mariko are imaginary.
And the last time that Etsuko talks to Mariko, she promised Mariko that if she doesn’t like the life abroad, they will come right back to Japan. She said “we”! U-hah, Freudian slip! I screamed it out in my mind.
In a word, Etsuko was projecting all the bad memories, events and thoughts on Sachiko to release her moral anxiety and neurotic anxiety. She was all alone and nobody can share her worries, or she can not share it with others. Unluckily, she couldn’t repress all her trauma, that’s why she was suffering from all these confusing memories.